Dear “One pissed off mother”

***Warning: Extreme Amounts of Snark Ahead!***

How are you?  I just saw the sweet little letter you wrote to “lady living at this address,” and, as a person on the autism spectrum, I feel I and the autistic community owes you an apology.

I’m sure you didn’t think your letter would end up making the Huffington Post, but it did.  Now, a incredibly large audience is aware of your feelings about an autistic neighbor of yours.  Now, I know it must be awful that a woman had the audacity to not only give birth to a cognitive disabled child, but then had to nerve to live in a house which happened to be in your neighborhood?  Where does she get off?  And then she maliciously allows her child to go outside.  Call the National Guard!  I can only imagine the pain and anguish you must feel when you are at the park with your children, and this mother and child show up, and the child has the nerve to be openly autistic, “scaring” your “normal” children.  And where does this child get off making weird noises in a residential neighborhood?  I find it hard to believe that you didn’t suggest the mother get the child a muzzle!  At least that would somewhat drown out the sound!  I mean, how dare he?  How insensitive can this child be, making noise in a residential area and all?  And how insensitive is this mother by allowing the child to make these noises?  Something must be done!

***end snark***

OK, now I’m being serious.  I was going to be snarky with the rest of this woman’s letter as well, but it gets so horrid that I am not mentally able to do it.  Instead, here’s is an actual letter to this woman:

Dear “One pissed off mother,”

Where the fuck do you get off writing a letter like that?  What on Earth made you think it’s acceptable to antagonize a woman and her child just because the child is disabled?  The child you speak about is a person, despite your belief that he is a “wild animal.”  Along with being a person, this child has rights, such as being able to live in a residential neighborhood.  This child also has the right to make any noise he chooses (or doesn’t choose).  Although you write that his noises “scare the hell out of your normal children,” I can’t attest to how much they actually do.  Perhaps they scare you more than they scare your children.  Or, perhaps, the noises just make you uncomfortable.  Additionally, I have to note your use of the word “normal” within that sentence.  You use the term “normal” to posit your children as, somehow, superior to hers, thereby implicitly saying they have more rights than her child.  You make out being normal as something to be revered when it’s not.  At the same time, you imply that people who don’t fit within your standard of “normal” are less worthy, not only of rights, but of existing.

And, who are you to determine the entire outcome of this child’s life?  What makes you so certain that he’ll never marry, have a job, and spend the rest of his life being a “hindrance to everyone”?  Based on your comment about donating “whatever non-retarded body parts” he has “to science”, it is clear that you have little to no knowledge of anatomy and physiology, not to mention psychology, neuroscience, biology, and probably anything else related to science.  In short, you having nothing to offer this child or his mother in the realm of scientific advise, and you have no business mentioning it in the first place.

Then, immediately after you call her child worthless for a second time, you have the audacity of accusing her of doing something negative to you?  Do you have no self-awareness at all?  You’re acting like she is committing a crime by simply raising her child.  As I have said before, her child has the right to live and has the right to be in public.  This mother probably takes her child to the park for the same reasons you take your child to the park, so your vile malice and intolerance should have no place in your thoughts about her actions.  Her taking her child to the park is not “special treatment” if that is what you are insinuating (although you don’t make clear what “special treatment” means at any point in this letter).

Finally, telling her to euthanize her child brings any reader of this letter to the awful, irrefutable conclusion about the type of person you are.  You are a vile human being with no shred of decency within yourself.  I find it ironic that many people believe that people like me are incapable of empathy, when you, a presumably neurotypical person, demonstrate such an incredible lack of compassion and understanding that I cannot even comprehend.  If anybody deserves to be cut off from society in the way you suggest this mother and child should be, it’s you.  Writing a letter like the one you did shows, beyond a reasonable doubt, that you have no business interacting with the public in any fashion.  If I thought you were capable, I would tell you that you need to look long and hard at your actions and try to find a way to improve in the future, but I don’t think you’re able to do that.  You are someone who will probably live out their days holding on to your vile and disgusting attitudes along with your false sense of superiority.  I realize none of what I said will probably get though to you, but at least it is being said.  I’m glad your letter reached the Huffington Post, and I will revel in whatever isolation and ridicule it will cause you for the rest of your life.

Sincerely,

Towanda

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7 thoughts on “Dear “One pissed off mother”

  1. Pingback: Dear “One pissed off mother” | Towanda Threadgoode

  2. Pingback: Dear “One pissed off mother” | Towanda Threadgoode

  3. This is an open statement to the author of that letter.
    The statements that you have made are insensitive, hurtful and demonstrate a juvenile mentality. People with Autism, are still people. Though not always apparent they have feelings just like you.
    I understand your frustration with your neighbor’s behavior. Children with disabilities can be frustrating, and exhausting. I say this from experience; I am raising a son with autism. It is difficult but having him in my life has given me a greater sense of humanity that I otherwise would not have. You should open yourself up to acceptance of his diversity; clearly you could benefit from a greater sense of humanity yourself.
    Take a moment and try to understand the frustration that this boy experiences every day. Like any child, like your children, he has needs, but he does not have the ability to express them, at least not in a way that most people can understand. The voice inside his head is screaming for someone to help him, understand him, accept him; but when he tries to speak all he can produce is the “noise” that you complain about. He hears it too; it is not the sound he wants to make. If he had the ability to articulate his needs verbally, like your “normal” children he would.
    You are a coward. Everyone has the right to speak their minds. If you had taken ownership of your statements I would not hesitate to defend that right, but you have not. You have chosen to hide behind anonymity. If you lack shame for the hurtful things you have said you should at least be ashamed that you are not taking responsibility for them.
    I will not hide my identity; I take full responsibility for everything that I say. My name is Wade Huntley, I live in West Jordan Utah, I operate a website: http://www.avoiceformyson.com where my contact information can be found. You are welcome to contact me yourself. Be warned that I may post any communications that I receive from you and if you reveal your identity to me I will disclose it publicly.
    Finally, I am making an open offer of $100(USD) to anyone that can positively identify you as the author of this letter. It isn’t much but it is all that I can afford. Given the hurtful things that you have said I doubt it will require any reward for someone to reveal who you are. If I am able to confirm your identity I will post it publicly on my site and I will provide it to your local news stations.

    Wade Huntley
    Proud father of an autistic child

    • You should open yourself up to acceptance of his diversity.
      And please refer to your son as an Autistic person since he is not ‘a person with a removable component’. In fact, that’s why the vast majority of Autisitic people prefer identity-first language and are insulted by person-first language that puts the person last by disregarding their choices. That’s why I always say Autistic people unless the Autistic person themselves wishes to be called differently.

  4. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!!!!! I’m a parent of a child with a Chromosome 3 deletion. It’s so rare it will most likely be called Bryant’s Syndrome (after my Son). There is no known outcome for my boy but I will love and support him unconditionally forever. I can not fathom the pain Max’s Family feel regarding the letter that showed up at their door. But I do know how gratifying it will be for Karla and her Family after this person gets exposed.
    Again, I thank you!!

    Max- be loud and be proud, always!

    Bryant’s Mom
    April – Red Deer, AB.

    Ps- I can’t wait to see what kind of example the Police in Ontario make out of this “mother”!

    • I’m not familiar with canada criminal law but my guess is the police prob can’t do much besides question them. That letter toed the line of a threat but didn’t quite cross it. Given all the other terrible things that person said the fact that they didn’t make an actual threat is probably deliberate to avoid criminal charges (extra reason to call them a coward) if they are found out. In the U.S. most states recognize deliberate or intentional infliction of emotional harm/distress as actionable and comensable. It’s usually reserved for when somebody does something really terrible for no better reason than to be mean. I think this would count. Canada likely has an equivalent law. If they find out who this person is, and persue it, Max’s family could likely take that “pissed of mommy” for a lot of money.

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